When I unexpectedly became a primary care partner to both of my parents as the pandemic was kicking into high gear (in an environment that seemed to willfully neglect older adults), reading for myself was all but abandoned. Now there were plenty of reading opportunities as I was invariably waiting for the next care-related appointment, but I lacked the mental energy. While our parents were still living at home and both enduring an endless string of emergencies, there was too much to do, too little help, and we were all just treading some deep waters.

Becoming a family caregiver is a transformational journey marked by profound challenges and significant life adjustments. While it can be a role filled with love and compassion, it's essential to recognize that not everyone is suited for the role of primary caregiver, especially when faced with their own health conditions, demanding work schedules, frequent travel obligations, young children with higher needs, a strained relationship, or a history of abuse or violence in the family. This article aims to guide you through 8 essential considerations, offering practical advice, alternative solutions, and insights that can help you make the best decision for yourself and your loved ones.

When faced with loss, our very human responses range from shock and anger to profound sadness and enduring despair. While mourning can plunge us into prolonged grief and hopelessness, the natural world offers a pathway towards finding peace and inner tranquility. Studies continue to reveal how time in nature can lower blood pressure, stress hormones levels and anxiety, while boosting self-esteem and mood.

When doctors tell you that your loved one is going to die, and they go as far as to say they probably have 2-5 years left, your mind follows the words and calculates the numbers. I was in a constant state of panic and anticipatory grief in the early days of my husband's ALS diagnosis and my brain conjured a countdown timer. The doctor had inadvertently planted future thinking into my brain. Thankfully, something happened a few years into our journey that snapped me back into reality, and that reality was that he was still alive.

Sometimes, I need to laugh at dementia. To be clear: dementia and all forms of its relations are heartbreaking, silently snatching fragments of personality, identity, and lifelong anchors. Dementia robs an individual of so much, including their independence and agency; still, this does not mean that someone living with dementia is doomed to exist in a joyless, meaningless fog.

The death of anyone for whom we have cared will leave a mark – the nature of the relationship will determine the extent of the scar.

Integrating awe into your daily life is a positive, transformative practice that can help you to recalibrate how you approach caregiving.

In this week’s post, we offer a helpful summary of 7 skills that family caregivers can practice to tolerate the distress that frequently parallels caregiving. The goal is not only to prevent burnout, but to enrich the caregiver’s spirit.